Okay, today I have a bad news... I just got sick. Well, considering the epic temperature change lately no wonder I got a fever coz I really can't handle drastic temperature change well. Kalo mau tahu, kemarin pagi jam 7, aku bangun tidur, cek weather apps, it said -3°C. Buuuttt... 5 hours later the apps said it was 15°C?!
My chocolate that I kept in my balcony (because it was cold the night before) melted because of the sudden heat. Dari awal aku tinggal di Jerman, aku emang paling ga tahan sama weather macam gini, makanya beberapa tahun terakhir aku selalu sakit demam batuk-batuk 2x dalam setahun, sekali waktu pergantian winter ke spring, kedua waktu pergantian dari summer ke fall.
Kemarin malem waktu mau pergi tidur, I got a feeling that I'm going to get sick, because my throat was so dry. Moreover, some people in my office were unfit, so the chance of getting sick doubled or even tripled. This afternoon, my back suddenly felt so stiff and I started coughing a little, so I decided to go back earlier. Buat yang belum tahu, kalo mau pulang dari kantor aku harus jalan kaki 30 menit ke train station, terus masih harus naik kereta 50 menit, abis gitu jalan kaki lagi 8 menit baru bisa nyampe rumah. Sial emang sial, waktu pulang kantor tiba-tiba aja hujan, dan karena hari ini weathernya lagi dingin, air hujannya jadi dingin bgt. Karena aku juga lagi gak fit, air hujannya kerasa nyengat bgt. Do you know when exactly we feel lonely the most?
1. When the weather is bad (raining for example)
2. When you are sick and no one is taking care of you
3. When you live abroad and so far away from family and friends
4. When it suddenly rains and you forgot your umbrella
Bayangin kalo semuanya itu terjadi sekaligus dalam waktu yang sama, so depressing right? To be honest, I was so sad that I wanted to cry back then. My steps felt so heavy, my breathing was hard and painful (because I'm sick of course) and my body was trembling because of cold rain water.
But fortunately for me, the rain only lasted for around 15 mins. And you know what, I looked up above and saw a sky full of stars. It was so awesomely beautiful, as if I could forget all those unfortunate things happened to me. Langitnya indah banget, mungkin karena kantorku letaknya di atas bukit dan di sana polusi cahaya emang belum parah seperti di kota-kota gede, aku bisa lihat jelas banget bintang-bitang di langit, shining beautifully over the remaining black clouds.
There is an old saying "people who die will then become a star". Maybe this came from a really long time ago, when religion wasn't spread out yet and science was not as advanced as it is now. Mereka nggak bisa menjelaskan apa yang terjadi setelah manusia meninggal, makanya mereka membuat kesimpulan sendiri bahwa manusia mati akan jadi bintang, because stars are pretty and you can see them every night (long time ago when there was still no light polution), as a way to console people who were left by their loved ones. Menurutku itu nggak masuk akal banget karena hal itu nggak bisa dijelasin pakai science and there is no prove at all, moreover because I'm christian I believe that there are heaven and hell, and I'm pretty sure people also do believe so. Nevertheless, ketika seseorang baru saja kehilangan kerabat dekat, banyak orang yang akan mecoba menghibur dia dengan bilang "It's alright, he/she will keep watching over you from above" or something like that, even though they know it's not true. They know that it's a lie, but they still believe it as a way of self consolation...to ease the pain and the unbearable sadness.
"When we die, we become stars", maybe it sounds stupid, but it's not that bad to believe in this kind of lie.
Because that way I could see my late grandma every night in the sky... You keep watching over me from above, right, grandma? I miss you so much....
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