Tonight, Maybe We'll See the Stars in the Rain

Okay, today I have a bad news... I just got sick. Well, considering the epic temperature change lately no wonder I got a fever coz I really can't handle drastic temperature change well. Kalo mau tahu, kemarin pagi jam 7, aku bangun tidur, cek weather apps, it said -3°C. Buuuttt... 5 hours later the apps said it was 15°C?!
My chocolate that I kept in my balcony (because it was cold the night before) melted because of the sudden heat. Dari awal aku tinggal di Jerman, aku emang paling ga tahan sama weather macam gini, makanya beberapa tahun terakhir aku selalu sakit demam batuk-batuk 2x dalam setahun, sekali waktu pergantian winter ke spring, kedua waktu pergantian dari summer ke fall.

Kemarin malem waktu mau pergi tidur, I got a feeling that I'm going to get sick, because my throat was so dry. Moreover, some people in my office were unfit, so the chance of getting sick doubled or even tripled. This afternoon, my back suddenly felt so stiff and I started coughing a little, so I decided to go back earlier. Buat yang belum tahu, kalo mau pulang dari kantor aku harus jalan kaki 30 menit ke train station, terus masih harus naik kereta 50 menit, abis gitu jalan kaki lagi 8 menit baru bisa nyampe rumah. Sial emang sial, waktu pulang kantor tiba-tiba aja hujan, dan karena hari ini weathernya lagi dingin, air hujannya jadi dingin bgt. Karena aku juga lagi gak fit, air hujannya kerasa nyengat bgt. Do you know when exactly we feel lonely the most?
1. When the weather is bad (raining for example)
2. When you are sick and no one is taking care of you
3. When you live abroad and so far away from family and friends
4. When it suddenly rains and you forgot your umbrella
Bayangin kalo semuanya itu terjadi sekaligus dalam waktu yang sama, so depressing right? To be honest, I was so sad that I wanted to cry back then. My steps felt so heavy, my breathing was hard and painful (because I'm sick of course) and my body was trembling because of cold rain water.

But fortunately for me, the rain only lasted for around 15 mins. And you know what, I looked up above and saw a sky full of stars. It was so awesomely beautiful, as if I could forget all those unfortunate things happened to me. Langitnya indah banget, mungkin karena kantorku letaknya di atas bukit dan di sana polusi cahaya emang belum parah seperti di kota-kota gede, aku bisa lihat jelas banget bintang-bitang di langit, shining beautifully over the remaining black clouds.

There is an old saying "people who die will then become a star". Maybe this came from a really long time ago, when religion wasn't spread out yet and science was not as advanced as it is now. Mereka nggak bisa menjelaskan apa yang terjadi setelah manusia meninggal, makanya mereka membuat kesimpulan sendiri bahwa manusia mati akan jadi bintang, because stars are pretty and you can see them every night (long time ago when there was still no light polution), as a way to console people who were left by their loved ones. Menurutku itu nggak masuk akal banget karena hal itu nggak bisa dijelasin pakai science and there is no prove at all, moreover because I'm christian I believe that there are heaven and hell, and I'm pretty sure people also do believe so. Nevertheless, ketika seseorang baru saja kehilangan kerabat dekat, banyak orang yang akan mecoba menghibur dia dengan bilang "It's alright, he/she will keep watching over you from above" or something like that, even though they know it's not true. They know that it's a lie, but they still believe it as a way of self consolation...to ease the pain and the unbearable sadness.

"When we die, we become stars", maybe it sounds stupid, but it's not that bad to believe in this kind of lie.
Because that way I could see my late grandma every night in the sky... You keep watching over me from above, right, grandma? I miss you so much....

Time Machine

Well so much happened dan sekarang aku lagi internship di Engen. Kalo mau tahu, Engen itu kotanya kecil banget, lebih mirip kayak desa. Bayangin aja, penduduknya total cuman ada 7000, angkutan umum hampir ga ada. Dan karena Engen itu kota kecil, aku terpaksa tinggal di Konstanz soalnya ga berhasil dapet apartemen di kota itu, well of course because I know no one there and I couldn't find a room on the internet. Dan karena itu juga akhirnya aku harus ngelaju tiap hari, total pulang pergi 100 menit di kereta+ 60 menit jalan kaki dari train station ke tempat kerja soalnya ga ada bus sama sekali.

Ok, back to the topic. Akhir-akhir ini aku lagi suka banget sama salah satu lagu lamanya Jay Chou. Judulnya Time Machine (Shi Gua Ji). Jadi tema lagunya tentang Doraemon gitu, di MV nya ceritanya si Nobita udah gede. Terus dia keinget dulu pernah ngelakuin suatu kesalahan gede. Waktu dia kecil ceritanya si Shizuka mau pindah rumah. Sebelum mau berangkat, si Shizuka nungguin Nobita tapi ga dateng2, akhirnya ditinggal. Eh, beberapa saat setelah berangkat si Nobitanya sampai di rumah Shizuka dan akhirnya Nobitanya ngejar2 mobil Shizuka tapi ga berhasil.
Gara2 keinget itu, si Nobita dewasa akhirnya pakai Time Machine buat kembalik ke masa itu lagi.
Dia jemput si Nobita kecil pake motor dan akhirnya mobil Shizuka berhasil kekejar.

Hmm kayaknya asyik banget ya kalo punya mesin waktu, it's like you could fix everything you did wrong in the past. If I had one, I would like to go back to elementary school and redo everything, there were a lot of blunders and mistakes that I still remember even until now. What would happen if they never happened?

I think jadi Nobita itu enak banget. Dia yang orangnya selalu dapet misfortune melulu, gara2 ketemu Doraemon dia jadi jauh lebih bahagia. Setiap kali Nobita ada masalah, Doraemon selalu punya alat ajaib buat benerin masalah Nobita. Alat2 ajaib Doraemon selalu bisa bikin Nobita "bahagia".

Ngomong2 tentang bahagia, setelah beberapa tahun tinggal di Jerman, I found out that orang Jerman itu orangnya simple. What makes them happy? Beer. If they are down or sad? Beer.
I have a senior in my work place. He is usually so grumpy and strict, especially to me, because I am new in the office. Last week I and my office people went to Oktoberfest in Konstanz and we drank shit ton of Beer. Even people like my senior, after gulping some Beer, could suddenly become awfully friendly. He suddenly become so lively and happy, just because of Beer, so simple. Happiness seems like so easy for them, as if everything could be fixed with some Beer, their source of happiness. I'm quite jealous to them, coz I have no such thing. Sekarang kayaknya kalau mau hepi itu susah, gara2 kerja tiap hari sekarang aku udah ga ada waktu buat ngapa2in lagi. satu2nya entertainment yang aku punya cuman masak atau nonton doang.
Why is happiness so hard to find in my case? 


Yang aku paling suka dari lagu Time Machine nya Jay Chou adalah Reffnya, soalnya liriknya ngena banget.

My childhood dream is for a time machine
That I can be continually happy without skipping a breath
Wearing a taketombo, I'd fly past the forest
Opening a dokodemo door, I'd locate you for our travels together

Well, once again, Nobita bisa jadi bahagia karena alat2 ajaib Doraemon, salah satunya yaitu Time Machine, which he could use to fix the past and even the future.
Do I also need one to be happy??