Thursday, August 20, 2020

Our Forgotten Spring

Hey there.....I know years have gone by and we haven't talked for a long time....

But I want to start off by saying thank you.... Thank you for making my senior years the best of my life!

I know that we've known each other since elementary school, but we were finally put in the same class in high school. It was weird that after elementary school we haven't talked to each other and then we met again in the same class.

It started with group projects and study sessions, but little by little I got to learn more about you. I learned that you like traditional Indonesian food, with super spicy sambal sauce. And you learned that I had a frequent sore throat, so you often forbade me eating fried foods.

You were always brave and the center of attention. I wished I were as courageous as you. 

I also learned how much going into public medical school meant to you. The day you found out you didn't get in, you were really devastated. I really wanted to comfort you.....to tell you that it's okay to fail and there's much more things worth doing in life........ I should have done that.......

But I didn't have the courage, because I knew that you know how much I care about you....That you didn't want to hurt me and that you felt sorry to me...

It's okay, it isn't your fault. Looking back the those times, my life was meaningful. I was happy that I could spend my days with you...In that limited time, you taught me that life without love is empty....and just lonely.....

Thank you for the time we spent together...Thank you for being my motivation...And thank you for making my high school meaningful, my sweet crush.... I wish I could tell you that you were my sunshine, everything that I could wish for...

I will always pray for your happiness....and I hope that you will always find a reason to smile... 


Sunday, July 26, 2020

Staying Positive and Sane

So much happened in 2020. You name it... Forest fire in Australia, the killing of Iranian general, US-China escalating conflict, China-India conflict, huge flood in China, Black Lives Matter movement, Oil price war and the biggest problem of all, Covid19 that brings economy down to deep abyss.

If you watch or read news everyday, you will notice that almost all are bad news, it's as if we are being fed by negativity constantly while being quarantined at home. Its no wonder if people went crazy and depressed under this condition... mental health also becomes a serious issue for us. Honestly, its really hard to find "the good things in life" nowadays. We live under constant fear of being infected by Covid19 and the possibility of WW3 happening, and not mentioning the fear of job loss. What a time to be alive...

I've been having weird headache for quite sometime and it might be because of overthinking. My anxiety kicks in and I can't stop negative thoughts away from my brain. My head want to explode...
What keeps me sane until now is only hope.... hope that in the near future everything will be back to normal, that everything will be okay....